It’s that time again! What time? Time for another Freaky Fact Sheet! This is just a small intermission that allows me a small break in the regularly scheduled story updates. In their place, I take this time to tell you about all the wonderful, weird or spooky Freaky Facts that I’ve dug up and collected* here for your entertainment. Seeing as this one falls during the best spooky month of the year, this Freaky Fact Sheet is dedicated to all things ghoulish, creepy, crawly and spooky! Which is mostly par for the course for these things but the picture is orange and black this time. Enjoy!

As we are now well into our celebration of the autumn season, it should be noted to combine colors in your decorations with extreme caution. While some colors look excellent together, they may also be infused with properties that allow them to open doors to other dimensions. It should be noted that this happens all year but in October, there are certain combination that seem to ripen and become more potent. Victims have reported everything from rude goblin-like creatures that insist that festive pumpkins are only to be used as a projectile to the opening of actual doorways to what might have been to Hell or might have led to the set of an as of yet named horror film. Reports of survivors or autograph seekers have not yet come back in that case. The problem remains as reports on which colors were the culprit were vague and not very helpful so exercise caution when setting out decorations.

For the youngsters out there who are planning some Halloween mischief and punishment for houses who give out sugar free or healthy treats: if your shenanigans were to include eggs, please be certain to try to find farm fresh ones. As we all know, Shadows tend to roam free at this time of year and generally enjoy creating menacing shapes and being a nuisance. In their nefarious activities, more Shadows have found themselves accidental targets of young revenge seekers and have been known to take their annoyance out in sometimes drastic ways. That said, researchers claim that Shadows coming to life on Halloween night have been known to simply drain the life of only one family member in cases where food thrown at them, eggs especially, were fresh. At time of writing, no one had found a family member reduced to a lifeless husk after a night of wasting toilet paper so this may be an option to consider as well.

Speaking of treats, please be considerate of all creatures when trick or treaters arrive at your door. In recent years, we have seen an increase in allergies amongst both human and unspeakable creatures alike. When selecting candy to give out, please pay attention to both the labels and the colors on the package. If the label has a peanut crossed out on it, that means it is okay to give out to children with allergies and should be kept separate from any other candies which might have nuts in them. Likewise, any packaging featuring the color green you should separate as well, as there has been a rise in smaller eldritch horrors who have extreme reactions to it. In the event that this is too taxing for you, please remember that no matter what you choose to do, please refrain from buying those chalky mini disc candies. There is a single child in your neighborhood who collects them and even that kid is probably just grinding them up to find out the hard way that snorting anything up your nose hurts like hell. Also, this will increase the likelihood that your house will become a target for children who feel cheated out of proper treats. All this said, should you find yourself under Shadow attack and are not bothered by the probability of reducing a random person to a lifeless husk, perhaps this is an option for you to consider.

It’s been confirmed that the annual Black Cat Spawning will be happening in the last week of October this year. Researchers were able to confirm this through bribery with only the finest cat grass and honeysuckle available and suffering multiple scratch wounds in a secret ritual that they claim is both incredibly sacred and embarrassing. The spawning typically occurs over several days and is understood to be the true origins of all black cats in existence. Rumor has it that these tiny beasts are born out of a dimension of pure darkness and fluff. We will all know when the spawning has been complete on account of the yowling sound of cats roaming the streets at night, looking for both food and communion with other eldritch horrors that might have made it through the gateway into our dimension. If you should happen upon a black cat at this time, please understand the gravity of the situation that you are entering, as you may be acting as ambassador to our plane of existence with an ancient reborn into our world. Also they never ever stop meowing and they are loud, thus you will find your patience tested by their demands and constant need for affection. However, despite the annoyances, their ability to purr creates a general sense of serenity that is impossible to find elsewhere and should you prove worthy of their affection, the new spawn will defend you to the death. Finally, should you fail in this task of caring for this tiny beast, we cannot accept responsibility for what will happen to you as to kill or injure a cat is an affront to most creatures and an act of war to some. Proceed with caution.

Finally, it has been established that while there is no Great Pumpkin hovering over pumpkin patches in final judgement of sincerity, the squash that do grow within the gardens are known to talk to each other as they mature. It was a breakthrough for science when they discovered the audible signs of language that was being transmitted and an even more stunning breakthrough when it was translated. Original transcripts left some things to be desired, however, as a lengthy conversation between two sizeable pumpkins was transcribed as a debate on the merits of being a pie versus being carved. There were also some minor off color comments about other varieties of squash, particularly the popularity of spaghetti squash that has risen over the years. At the time of writing, there was no consensus on what the pumpkins preferred in terms of being pie or carved. When selecting a pumpkin this year, please consult with the farmer to see if they have had their patch analyzed for the preferences of their squash to be on the ethical side.

Thank you for joining me for another Freaky Fact Sheet and have a great Halloween season!

* All Freaky Facts collected here are entirely made up and meant to be entertaining. If, by any odd chance, I have listed something that might have once been true or is true, I assure you that it was entirely by accident. If you are not entertained, come back next Monday for the continuing storyline of Dead Eye Dolly and her friends.

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