Greeting Sinister Gardeners.
If you are a regular reader here, you will note that there haven’t been any updates since December. Seeing as we are coming up on the end of January, you will also notice that my little hiatus has extended a bit longer than I had hoped or anticipated. I’m a little torn in writing this right now because ultimately, I confess that I have been struggling with this story for a while. There are some physical reasons for this. The first of which is that I’ve been writing almost constantly since November of 2017 and as of Christmas this past year, I was burnt out completely. I finished the ghost story and I was utterly spent. Considering that since November of 2017, I have edited and self published a very large novel in May of 2018, moved to a completely new city, self published a novella in October of 2018 and kept regularly updating this site for the most part all while working a full time job (which for most of this run was taking up to three hours of travel time a day), I suppose it’s not surprising that I found myself just a bit exhausted after all. The truth is, however, that it made for a very depressing holiday season for me and I found that getting down to being creative has been really really difficult for me for most of the whole month of January. This has extended not just to the site but also to the projects that I have been working on to edit and publish this year.
The down time has made me pause to think for a while and I admit that this is also part of the reason that I’m having something of a struggle to get back into the swing of things. Over the years that I’ve been writing for this site, I’ve always reminded myself that this was for me and no one else. This is still true but there’s a part of me that wonders if I’m putting this story out there and it’s just not catching because people just don’t want to read it. Now please don’t get me wrong. This isn’t a plea for attention or any kind of finger pointing because, like I said, ultimately this project was something I wanted to do for myself to have fun with it. And I would be lying to myself to say it still is fun. No artist likes playing to an empty room and after a while, you wonder if maybe you’re just not playing a song anyone wants to hear. Maybe it’s time to stop playing or try playing something else. Or maybe the room is just a quiet one. It’s hard to tell and while I’ve been feeling a bit down and burnt out, I have wondered if this is a story that anyone is that interested in. There’s still places I can take the storylines but I’m not sure that anyone is really wanting to read it. If it is, maybe it’s the format that puts people off and maybe that’s something I can fix. If it’s not, maybe it’s time to let Garden of Malice rest for a while and find another song to sing that feels like more fun to be doing.
If you are reading this, I would like to know what you think. If you are interested in seeing more of the Garden of Malice story, I do want you to let me know. If you like or don’t like something, I genuinely would appreciate hearing it because if there’s something I can do to make it something people want to read more of, I am happy to try. There was a time that I was excited to create for this project but I am having a hard time getting enthusiastic about it. I know that will reflect in my work and if I try to continue on like this, I feel like it’s just going to end up with a story that absolutely no one will want to read. If that is indeed the case and there is no interest at all, that’s still okay. Maybe my little experiment wasn’t going to fly after all and if that’s the case, there’s no shame in that. I set out to figure out what else I could write and see if I could have fun with it for a while. In the end, I made a site and maybe it’s time to give things a bit of a reboot. If that’s the case, let me know that too.
If no one is reading, this, well, I guess it’s not too late to change songs and find out what other noises I can come up with that might be fun to make. It is my site, after all. If that is the case, I will hang up Garden of Malice for an indefinite amount of time and revamp the site to do something new. If you have made it this far and you aren’t the type to want to say hello or don’t know what to say, I will let you know that this is okay too. I still thank you for visiting, no matter how frequently or infrequently it was, and I want you to know that I appreciate the time you took to read what I’ve written, even if it was only the front page. Sincerely, Thank you! Even if the work I do is to please myself, I still do and always will appreciate when someone takes the time to give it a look.
Thank you for reading and whatever you find here next, I hope you find it makes you happy!